As part of the birth process, we have to work with several independent birth partners. We have to hire a birth assistant from a list provided by the midwives and we have to attend some kind of natural childbirthing class. Both processes have been infuriating.
No one has a web page. No one responds to email in a timely fashion. Everything’s vague. It’s phone or nothing, which is really unhelpful when trying to schedule things without inadvertently revealing your pregnancy to your workplace. And even on the phone, people are flaky. I guess a good midwife is very process focused with a single track mind, but it makes for a shitty business person.
And then there are the birth classes. I can’t find shit. Practitioners have websites, but their latest class listings ended in May with no suggestion of when the next will be scheduled. Or they don’t list prices. Or if/when they have classes. Or where they have classes. Or it’s a 45 minute drive from my house. Or they don’t cover the curriculum I’m interested in. Or it’s only when I have grad school classes. Or think that Virginia Beach is near Washington, DC. Or the web page is broken. The web page is constantly broken. I need to book a class that starts sometime at the end of June or the beginning of July (for a 12 week course) and I can’t find shit that works for my pretty non-specific tastes somewhat near my work or home.
Unless I want private classes, which are more money for less time. Because that sounds like a great option. Not to mention my midwives are frustratingly unspecific for what they want.
It is 2014. I am somehow considered a Millenial. I don’t want to spend 10-15 minutes on the phone or writing you an email to discover that you’re not offering classes for fall babies. I have four people in my 200 person Facebook group having a baby in October, the demand is goddamn there.
I think I need some protein. Or a nap.