Diary of Bed Time, Pregnancy Style

10pm – Think about going to bed… but maybe I’ll check Facebook first

10:30pm – Actually begin going to bed

10:45pm – finish night time ablutions, actually get in bed. Lie on back for two minutes until you remember that doing so causes lower abdominal pain and may cut off blood flow to the baby. Roll onto your side and hug your new body pillow.

12am – briefly awoken when wife comes to bed.

2am – right shoulder hurts. Roll over to left side, rearranging pillow appropriated.

3:30am – left hip has gone painful / numb and bathroom needs have become urgent. Get up.

4am – cat comes in, crying for attention and then eventually snuggles up to the wife after rousing the dog, who comes over to investigate, shakes herself loudly and then goes back to bed.

5am – right hip hurts and AC has made you too cold, roll over again. Rearrange body pillow without smacking wife in the face. Only partially successful. Add covers

6:45am – wake up because it’s gotten light up. Stay cozed as is.

7am – left shoulder hurts. Rearrange slightly.

7:30am – first alarm goes off. Wife cuddles up, drift cozily back to sleep

7:40am – HOLY CRAP SO HOT. Try to carefully disengage wife without waking her.

7:45am – second alarm goes off. Drag myself out of bed.

Fin.

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