Category Archives: Heartburn

Hungry: A Time Line. In GIFs.

6:15 – Hey, I’m kinda hungry. But I’m stuck in class for another 2 hours.


6:45 – Ugh, I’m kinda nauseous.

7pm – Man, I’m tired. Can we nap instead of class?

7:15 – Everything about this class is bullshit, the professor is awful and I hate his face.

7:30 – Heartburn.

7:40 – Why is there still no food? I am so sad about this. I want food and everything is hard.

7:45- Why did I forget to replenish my emergency snacks?

7:55 – Elaborate fantasies of the food I’m going to eat outside of class that do not include items on the midwife approved diet.



9:25 – Heartburn. Again.



Game: Hungry or Heartburn?


The answer is always heartburn

This is one of my least favorite parts of having heartburn that I’ve had for years. Sometimes it presents as being really, really, bottomless pit hungry, where you eat and then still feel hungry. So then you go eat a sensible snack and then you immediately regret it and feel sick / overfull.

I’ve gotten a lot better about recognizing when this kind of heartburn hits (usually after lunch) and reaching for the tums instead of the trail mix.It’s been bad since I got my soon-to-be adorable parasite, to the paint where I started referencing my afternoon game of hungry or heartburn. The papaya enzymes really seem to have made a difference in the heartburn overall, but I still have bad days.

I started drinking coffee again this week because MY GOD I MISSED IT. And the good news is that I’m not dealing with painful death heartburn, but I am having hungry attacks. So I keep drinking water because it makes me feel like I’m feeding the hunger AND overfull. It’s a lose-lose situation!

So I guess it’s back to coffee as a sometimes food. Dammit, coffee!

Heartburn Help!

A few weeks ago, in a moment of desperation, I submitted a question about how to resolve my heartburn issues to The Kitchn. Well, happily, they ran it on Friday. While I did not get the magical recipe list I’d been hoping for, I got some good advice on how to help resolve this. Ones I’m looking forward to trying out:

  • Baking soda in water
  • Apple cider vinegar
  • Giving up my pride and taking some damn zantac

I’ve tried papaya enzymes, which really does nothing, unless it’s supposed to be some kind of long term solution, in which case, I don’t have the patience for it. I’ve got a huge bottle at my desk, so I’ll keep taking it with meals (and plenty of water, because it leaves a chalky aftertaste that is nauseating), but blerg.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure it’ll end with the Zantac, but getting to that last step is hard. I really wanted to go as chemical free as I can in this pregnancy. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve taken Tylenol. I finally gave in to this week’s super high pollen counts and started taking my claritin. I’ve drastically reduced my caffeine intake. And I’m not even sure it’s worth it, but that’s the narrative, right? If you do anything, your child will have adverse effects and if you don’t, your child will definitely have adverse effects.

I was really kind of hoping to get some magical recipe list to work from with this post. I’ve really lost my cooking mojo along with all my energy. The extra thought required to make a meal is just exhausting. Neither the wife or I really want to cook lately – stress and general fatigue are taking tolls on both of us for different reasons. It’s going to have to change, well, a lot of things are going to have to change with the arrival of this little stranger, but this is a big one. I’m planning on having my 8 month nesting freezer attack, but we’ll have to see what happens. We even tried a trial of Plated (referral link) to try to jumpstart us cooking again, but to no avail. (Plated review – it’s a great service, but at $12 per person per dish and $20 shipping, it’s definitely not cheaper than takeout).

Oh well. It’ll get there again.



Food (or Spaghetti is the Only Kind I Want Right Now)

Oh morning sickness. It’s unending nausea or continual heartburn. At 12 weeks (!!!), the nausea has dissipated, but the heartburn seems to be here to stay. But when the nausea was there on top of the heartburn, food was difficult. I spend the first month eating only baked potatoes for dinner and the second month eating whole wheat spaghetti with butter and salt (my favorite comfort food). Mostly this is because whatever I’d eat for lunch would give me raging heartburn, so I wanted something soothing for dinner.

When you’re pregnant, you actually have to pay attention to max doses of medication (and the rest of you should anyway), so I would eat my max amount of tums and still find myself feeling bad. That’s when I discovered chewing gum is a pretty simple heartburn fix. I’m on my second carton from Costco now.

At this point, spaghetti is still my first dinner thought. It’s quick, it’s tasty, it won’t make the raging heartburn I’ve somehow acquired during the day any worse. Not to mention that even if my heartburn isn’t that bad, the train ride home has started making me super motion sick, so eating after thinking I might hurl for 20 minutes is rough.

Eating when the idea of food is utterly repugnant to you is so. difficult. My wife would just list the different things we could eat and all of them would make me blanch. I started making and drinking fruit smoothies just to make sure I got some vitamins. It’s gotten better now, but I still look at food nervously.

The hardest part is giving up spicy foods and coffee. You guys, this might as well have been my two main food groups. Tea is just not the same for caffeine intake and while Diet Coke is delicious, I can’t afford a 20 oz bottle every morning. Plus, too strong tea can sometimes make me nauseated, which is kind of against the point. And I love sriracha, Indian food and red pepper. As my health insurance’s pregnancy counselor* points out, they’ll still be there once the kid arrives.

No fair, baby. No fair. You better be really freaking cute.

*Yeah, I find this as ridiculous as you do, but my work is paying me $200 to talk to these people. I’ll take it. That’s another post.

Morning Sickness, OMG Why

Morning sickness is super common during early pregnancy (75% of women have it). Mine isn’t even that bad and I’m still pretty sure I’m going to die.

It’s basically constant low-grade nausea. Everything gives me heartburn. Food is utterly unappealing.

In the two adult, non-alcohol related instances I’ve had of tossing my cookies, it was less about the nausea and more about the certain knowledge that I was about to be ill about 5 minutes before I did. This is not that. This is just continuous feelings of awful, usually packaged with some bone crippling tiredness. Today I practically ran to my office bathroom because I was pretty positive I was going to be sick. I didn’t and I’m glad, but it was a near thing.

SeaBands are supposed to help – wristbands that hit your wrist pressure points. And they kind of do, for a while, but if you’re trying to be stealthy in the office, it looks like you’re wearing sweatbands under your suit jacket and no one is buying it. My wrists aren’t huge, but these things are tiny and they hurt after a while. So I ditched them and now just try pushing on my pressure points when things get bad.

The heartburn… the heartburn is intense. And constant. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to give up coffee and subsist on tea and/or Diet Coke. Antacids barely touch it and when they do, I have sour stomach for the rest of the day. Chewing gum works pretty decently, but my favorite sugarless gum now tastes awful to me… and I’m still only halfway through the carton from Costco. Plus, with TMJ, there’s only so long I can chew. Not to mention that sugarless gum has… effects on your digestive system.

At least the nausea is passing – it seems to have only lasted a few weeks. I don’t think the heartburn is going anywhere, alas.